We’ll come back to that in a minute.

Firstly, I’m happy to report that I have a driver license of sorts. Having not been able to get one until my social security number arrived, I was finally able to make an appointment at the DMV for this past week.

I headed down to Fullerton DMV as was scheduled. Fresh in my mind were horror stories of long queues and surly staff. Sure, it looked a bit chaotic in there but all of the staff I dealt with seemed friendly (except one in the theory test room who was a bit of a control freak).

The really great news was that because I hold a full UK licence, after my 36 questions they were able to issue me with a temporary license that allows me to drive unaccompanied. Sure, I still have to take a behind-the-wheel driving test but can do so at my relative leisure. The important thing is I can nip to the shops or go anywhere I fancy without having Jennifer or anyone else in the passenger seat ‘teaching me’. This brings me nicely to the main topic of this post.

Ok, I’d better rephrase the title of this post. Americans CAN drive stick in that those that do can get from A to B in one piece (mostly). However, from what I’ve seen, they can’t drive stick properly. It is a bit crazy here. Most cars in Southern California have automatic transmission with a plucky few people choosing manual, or stick shifts. This is the reverse in the UK, where the majority of cars are manual. Automatics are reserved mostly for old dears and bloated business execs in their BMWs and Mercs.

The main point here, though, is that in the UK you cannot drive a manual car unless you have been trained and tested in one. In the USA, it seems, you can learn and pass your driving test in an automatic, head down to a dealer and buy a stick shift. You can then drive it off the forecourt with no idea whatsoever how to drive it. Excuse me, but: WTF?!

Now, I’m guessing most people wouldn’t do that. No, they’d probably get someone knowledgeable to show them how to do it, maybe in a parking lot or similar. The trouble is, the people showing them probably haven’t been formally trained in driving stick either. No, they just picked it up or were shown by someone else equally as untrained.

So, what does this mean? It means that people in the USA trained in an automatic will learn how to drive a manual car by trial and error. They will definitely pick up bad habits; do stuff wrong and end up with a driving style that ‘works for them’. However, you will also probably hear them talk of the fear of a hill start without rolling backwards. Why? Because they’ve never been shown how easy it is to do properly. Rolling back is not inevitable. For the record, you will fail your UK driving test if you roll backwards on a hill start. See, it’s actually unacceptable to do – it’s dangerous! As is, in fact, driving a car you haven’t been trained to drive! Duh!

I therefore offer my humble advice to those wishing to drive stick.

1. The ‘emergency brake’ is no such thing. Dunno what sort of an emergency you’d plan on using it, but there are better ways to stop a car if your main brakes fail – like using the gears and engine braking.
2. Get used to calling it the ‘handbrake’. It’s your best friend when driving stick. You are supposed to use it in conjunction with the clutch, gears and gas pedal.
3. If the car is moving, it should be in a gear. Which one? The right one for the speed you are travelling. You are NEVER supposed to have it in neutral and the car to be coasting – you won’t have full control and also won’t be able to utilise engine braking.
4. If the car is stationary for more than a few seconds, the handbrake should be on. This will stop the car moving on a hill (ahh! On a hill, see?) or uneven surface.
5. When you are at a stop light on a hill with your handbrake on and wish to pull away:
1. Depress the clutch pedal
2. Engage first gear
3. Grasp the handbrake handle and depress the release button but keep it held up
4. Simultaneously slowly lift the clutch while applying some gas
5. When you feel the clutch ‘bite’ and the car slightly kick as the gear is engaged, keep applying gas and lifting clutch while also releasing the handbrake
6. You will start to move, and if done properly you will NOT ROLL BACKWARDS!

Sure, it’s an art but with time is a piece of cake and second nature. I’m not saying that us Brits are better at this – in fact a lot of British drivers who should know better don’t use their handbrake properly. They ride the clutch pedal and coast in neutral. Tut tut.

However, Americans who drive stick without formal training will have no idea how to do it properly unless they’ve been shown.

Bless ‘em.